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Terms of Use

Last Updated: May 20, 2025

Acceptance of These Terms of Use

Left Right Uppercut, LLC (“Left Right Uppercut,” “we,” “us,” or “our”) provides our services (described below) and related content to you through our website located at leftrightuppercut.com (the “Site”) and through related technologies (collectively, the Site, including any updated or new features, functionality and technology, the “Service”). All access and use of the Service is subject to the terms and conditions contained in these Terms of Use (as amended from time to time, these “Terms of Use”). By accessing, browsing, or otherwise using the Site or any other aspect of the Service, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and agree to be bound by these Terms of Use. If you do not accept the terms and conditions of these Terms of Use, you will not access, browse, or otherwise use the Service.

We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to change or modify portions of these Terms of Use at any time. If we do this, we will post the changes on this page and will indicate at the top of this page the date these Terms of Use were last revised. You may read a current, effective copy of these Terms of Use by visiting the “Terms of Use” link on the Site. We will also notify you of any material changes, either through the Service user interface, a pop-up notice, email, or through other reasonable means. Your continued use of the Service after the date any such changes become effective constitutes your acceptance of the new Terms of Use. You should periodically visit this page to review the current Terms of Use so you are aware of any revisions. If you do not agree to abide by these or any future Terms of Use, you will not access, browse, or use (or continue to access, browse, or use) the Service.

IMPORTANT: SATIRE DISCLAIMER

LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT IS A SATIRICAL PUBLICATION AND WEBSITE. All content published on Left Right Uppercut is satirical in nature and is not intended to be taken literally or as a statement of fact. The Site and its contents contain fiction, parody, and satire protected under the First Amendment of the United States Constitution. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, or to actual events, is purely coincidental or is intended purely as satire, parody, and/or comedy. No reasonable reader is intended to believe, nor should any reader believe, that any content on this site describes real events or real persons.

Your Privacy

At Left Right Uppercut, we respect the privacy of our users. For more information please see our Privacy Policy, located at leftrightuppercut.com/privacy-policy (the “Privacy Policy”).

Access and Use of the Service

Service Description

The Service is designed to provide satirical news and commentary content to its users.

Your Registration Obligations

You may be required to register with Left Right Uppercut or provide information about yourself (e.g., name and email address) in order to access and use certain features of the Service. If you choose to register for the Service, you agree to provide and maintain true, accurate, current, and complete information about yourself as prompted by the Service’s registration form. Registration data and certain other information about you are governed by our Privacy Policy. If you are under 13 years of age, you are not authorized to use the Service, with or without registering. In addition, if you are under 18 years old, you may use the Service, with or without registering, only with the express consent of your parent or guardian, and you agree to provide true, accurate, current, and complete information as requested by Left Right Uppercut to confirm such express consent.

Member Account, Password and Security

You are responsible for maintaining the confidentiality of your password and account details, if any, and are fully responsible for any and all activities that occur under your password or account. You agree to (a) immediately notify Left Right Uppercut of any unauthorized use of your password or account or any other breach of security, and (b) ensure that you exit from your account at the end of each session when accessing the Service. Left Right Uppercut will not be liable for any loss or damage arising from your failure to comply with this paragraph.

Conditions of Access and Use

User Conduct

You are solely responsible for all content that you make available to Left Right Uppercut, including by uploading, posting, publishing, or displaying via the Service or by emailing or otherwise making available to other users of the Service (collectively, “User Content”). The following are examples of the kinds of content and/or uses that are illegal or prohibited by Left Right Uppercut. Left Right Uppercut reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who, in Left Right Uppercut’s sole discretion, violates this provision, including removing the offending content from the Service, suspending or terminating the account of such violators, and reporting the violator to law enforcement authorities. You agree to not use the Service to:

  • Upload any content that infringes any intellectual property or other proprietary rights of any party;
  • Upload any content that you do not have a right to upload under any law or contractual relationship;
  • Upload any content that contains software viruses or any other computer code designed to interrupt, destroy, or limit the functionality of any computer software, hardware or telecommunications equipment;
  • Impersonate any person or entity, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent your affiliation with a person or entity;
  • Collect personal information from anyone under the age of 18;
  • Harvest or collect email addresses or other contact information of other users from the Service for the purposes of sending unsolicited emails or other communications;
  • Engage in or promote any criminal activity or provide instructional information about illegal activities;
  • Interfere with or disrupt the Service or servers or networks connected to the Service;
  • Violate any applicable local, state, national, or international law.

Commercial Use

Unless otherwise expressly authorized herein or in the Service, you agree not to display, distribute, license, perform, publish, reproduce, duplicate, copy, create derivative works from, modify, sell, resell, grant access to, transfer, or otherwise use or exploit any portion of the Service for any commercial purposes.

Intellectual Property Rights

Service Content

You acknowledge and agree that the Service may contain content or features that are protected by copyright, patent, trademark, trade secret, or other proprietary rights and laws. Except as expressly authorized by Left Right Uppercut, you agree not to modify, copy, frame, scrape, rent, lease, loan, sell, distribute, or create derivative works based on the Service or the Service Content, in whole or in part, except that the foregoing does not apply to your own User Content that you upload to or make available through the Service in accordance with these Terms of Use.

Trademarks

The Left Right Uppercut name and logos are trademarks and service marks of Left Right Uppercut (collectively the “Left Right Uppercut Trademarks”). Other Left Right Uppercut, product, and service names and logos used and displayed via the Service may be trademarks or service marks of their respective owners who may or may not endorse or be affiliated with or connected to Left Right Uppercut. Nothing in these Terms of Use or the Service should be construed as granting, by implication, estoppel, or otherwise, any license or right to use any of Left Right Uppercut Trademarks without our prior written permission in each instance.

User Content

You represent and warrant that you own all right, title and interest in and to such User Content, including all copyrights and rights of publicity contained therein. You hereby grant Left Right Uppercut and its affiliates, successors and assigns a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, fully paid-up, transferable, sublicensable (directly and indirectly through multiple tiers), perpetual, and irrevocable license to copy, display, upload, perform, distribute, store, modify, and otherwise use your User Content, in any form, medium or technology now known or later developed in connection with the operation of the Service, promotion, advertising or marketing of the Service, or as otherwise set forth in our Privacy Policy.

Copyright Complaints

Left Right Uppercut respects the intellectual property of others, and we ask our users to do the same. If you believe that your work has been copied in a way that constitutes copyright infringement, or that your intellectual property rights have been otherwise violated, you should notify Left Right Uppercut of your infringement claim in accordance with the procedure set forth below.

Left Right Uppercut will process and investigate notices of alleged infringement and will take appropriate actions under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (“DMCA”) and other applicable intellectual property laws with respect to any alleged or actual infringement. A notification of claimed copyright infringement should be emailed to Left Right Uppercut’s Copyright Agent at hello@leftrightuppercut.com (Subject line: “DMCA Takedown Request”).

To be effective, the notification must be in writing and contain the following information:

  • a physical or electronic signature of a person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of the copyright or other intellectual property interest that is allegedly infringed;
  • identification of the copyrighted work or other intellectual property that you claim has been infringed;
  • identification of the content that is claimed to be infringing and where it is located on the Service;
  • your address, telephone number, and email address;
  • a statement by you that you have a good faith belief that the disputed use is not authorized by the copyright or intellectual property owner, its agent, or the law;
  • a statement by you that the information in your notice is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that you are the copyright or intellectual property owner or are authorized to act on the behalf of the owner of the copyright or intellectual property that is allegedly infringed.

Disclaimer of Warranties

YOUR USE OF THE SERVICE IS AT YOUR SOLE RISK. THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED ON AN “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE” BASIS. LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS, IMPLIED OR STATUTORY, INCLUDING THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, TITLE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT.

LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT MAKES NO WARRANTY THAT (A) THE SERVICE WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS; (B) THE SERVICE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, TIMELY, SECURE, OR ERROR-FREE; (C) THE RESULTS THAT MAY BE OBTAINED FROM THE USE OF THE SERVICE WILL BE ACCURATE OR RELIABLE; OR (D) THE QUALITY OF ANY PRODUCTS, SERVICES, INFORMATION, OR OTHER MATERIAL PURCHASED OR OBTAINED BY YOU THROUGH THE SERVICE WILL MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS.

Limitation of Liability

YOU EXPRESSLY UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY DAMAGES, OR DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS INCLUDING DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF GOODWILL, USE, OR DATA OR OTHER INTANGIBLE LOSSES, WHETHER BASED ON CONTRACT, TORT, NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, OR OTHERWISE, RESULTING FROM THE USE OF THE SERVICE.

Dispute Resolution By Binding Arbitration

PLEASE READ THIS SECTION CAREFULLY AS IT AFFECTS YOUR RIGHTS.

Agreement to Arbitrate

This Dispute Resolution by Binding Arbitration section is referred to in these Terms of Use as the “Arbitration Agreement.” You agree that any and all disputes or claims that have arisen or may arise between you and Left Right Uppercut, whether arising out of or relating to these Terms of Use (including any alleged breach thereof), the Service, any advertising, or any aspect of the relationship or transactions between us, will be resolved exclusively through final and binding arbitration, rather than a court, in accordance with the terms of this Arbitration Agreement, except that you may assert individual claims in small claims court, if your claims qualify.

Prohibition of Class and Representative Actions and Non-Individualized Relief

YOU AND LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT AGREE THAT EACH OF US MAY BRING CLAIMS AGAINST THE OTHER ONLY ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS AND NOT AS A PLAINTIFF OR CLASS MEMBER IN ANY PURPORTED CLASS OR REPRESENTATIVE ACTION OR PROCEEDING.

Termination

You agree that Left Right Uppercut, in its sole discretion, may suspend or terminate your account (or any part thereof) or use of the Service and remove and discard any content within the Service, for any reason, including for lack of use or if Left Right Uppercut believes that you have violated or acted inconsistently with the letter or spirit of these Terms of Use.

General

These Terms of Use (together with the terms incorporated by reference herein) constitute the entire agreement between you and Left Right Uppercut governing your access and use of the Service, and supersede any prior agreements between you and Left Right Uppercut with respect to the Service. These Terms of Use will be governed by the laws of the United States and the state in which Left Right Uppercut is headquartered, without regard to its conflict of law provisions. The failure of Left Right Uppercut to exercise or enforce any right or provision of these Terms of Use will not constitute a waiver of such right or provision.

Questions? Concerns? Suggestions?

Please contact us at hello@leftrightuppercut.com to report any violations of these Terms of Use or to pose any questions regarding these Terms of Use or the Service.

LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT