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Privacy Policy

Last Updated: May 20, 2025

Introduction

This Privacy Policy describes how Left Right Uppercut (“we,” “us,” or “our”) collects, uses, and shares information about you when you visit or use our website at leftrightuppercut.com (the “Site”).

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Left Right Uppercut is a satirical news website. All content published on our Site is fictional, parodic in nature, and not intended to be understood as factual. Any resemblance to real persons, companies, events, or entities is coincidental or is being used in a satirical, parodic context.

By accessing or using our Site, you agree to this Privacy Policy. If you do not agree, please do not access or use our Site.

Personal Information We Collect

Information you provide to us:

  • Contact details, such as your email address and name when you subscribe to our newsletter or contact us
  • Account information, such as your username and password when you create an account
  • Payment information processed by our payment providers if you make purchases
  • Communications that we exchange when you contact us with questions or feedback
  • Survey responses or contest entries when you participate in our promotions
  • Marketing preferences regarding our newsletters and communications

Information we collect automatically:

  • Device data, including your device’s operating system, browser type, IP address, and unique identifiers
  • Usage data, such as pages visited, time spent on pages, links clicked, and interactions with our content
  • Location information, such as your general geographic region based on your IP address

Information from other sources:

  • Social media information when you interact with our social media pages
  • Third-party login information if you choose to log in through services like Google or Facebook
  • Information from partners such as analytics providers and advertising networks

How We Use Your Information

We use your information for the following purposes:

  • Provide, maintain, and improve our Site and services
  • Process transactions and fulfill orders
  • Communicate with you about our services, including sending newsletters
  • Personalize your experience and deliver relevant content
  • Analyze usage patterns and improve our Site
  • Send marketing communications about our services (with opt-out options)
  • Run contests, surveys, and other promotions
  • Protect our legal rights and prevent misuse of our Site
  • Comply with legal obligations

Satire Disclaimer and Legal Protection

Left Right Uppercut is a satirical publication that publishes fictional, parodic content for entertainment purposes only. Our content is protected under applicable laws as parody and satire. We do not publish factual news, and our content should not be interpreted as such.

Our Site and content are protected by the First Amendment of the United States Constitution and relevant case law pertaining to parody and satire as protected speech. Nothing on our Site is intended to be understood as factual reporting of actual events, persons, or entities.

How We Share Your Information

We may share your information with:

  • Service providers that help us operate our Site and provide services
  • Advertising and analytics partners to deliver relevant ads and understand our Site usage
  • Legal and regulatory authorities when required by law or to protect our rights
  • Business transferees if we’re involved in a merger, acquisition, or sale of assets
  • Others with your consent or at your direction

Your Choices and Rights

Depending on your location, you may have certain rights regarding your personal information:

  • Opt out of marketing: You can unsubscribe from our marketing emails using the link in our emails or by contacting us
  • Access your information: You can request a copy of the information we have about you
  • Correct your information: You can ask us to correct inaccurate information
  • Delete your information: You can ask us to delete your information in certain circumstances
  • Opt out of cookies: You can adjust your browser settings to refuse cookies

To exercise these rights, please contact us at hello@leftrightuppercut.com.

Children’s Privacy

Our Site is not intended for children under 13 years of age. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children under 13. If we learn we have collected personal information from a child under 13, we will delete that information.

Security

We implement reasonable security measures to protect your information. However, no internet transmission is completely secure, so we cannot guarantee the absolute security of your information.

International Data Transfers

We are based in the United States, and the information we collect is governed by U.S. law. If you are accessing our Site from outside the United States, please be aware that information collected through the Site may be transferred to, processed, stored, and used in the United States and other countries.

Changes to This Privacy Policy

We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. We will notify you of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page and updating the “Last Updated” date at the top.

Contact Us

If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us at:

Email: hello@leftrightuppercut.com Address: Left Right Uppercut, [Your Physical Address]

Cookie Policy

We use cookies and similar technologies to collect information about your use of our Site. For more information about our use of cookies and how to disable them, please visit our Cookie Policy [link].

California Privacy Rights

If you are a California resident, you may have additional rights under the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA). For more information, please contact us at hello@leftrightuppercut.com.

Do Not Track Signals

Our Site currently does not respond to “Do Not Track” signals or similar mechanisms.

By using Left Right Uppercut, you acknowledge that you have read this Privacy Policy and understand its contents.

LEFT RIGHT UPPERCUT